It’s that time of year again – that time when dads all over the world panic in their quest to find the right gift – a gift that shows just the right mix of sentimentality and usefulness – something special to show how much she means to him and their family.

I’m not a huge gift person. In fact, I usually just ask for a day without dishes and diapers, but in the name of helping out, here’s my list of 6 Very Useful Tools NOT to Give to a Mom on Mother’s Day (though she may appreciate them at another less sentiment-loaded occasion).

Disclaimer: If a special mom in your life asks for one of these items, she knows best! Don’t tell her I said not to! 🙂

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1. Shredder

because nothing says “I Love You” and “You Take Such Good Care of the Kids” as much as shredding past bank and credit card statements

2. BISSELL Little Green Compact Carpet Cleaner

because the very first thing mom wants to be reminded of on Mother’s Day is how much time she spends cleaning up various messes from carpet – dirt, potty accidents, yogurt drinks, smashed rotten banana…. yeah. Go ahead and remind her.

3. Planner

because “Now you can get organized” is a synonym for “You’re doing a great job!” No really. No matter how amazing Erin Condren Planners are.

4. Alarm Clock

because encouraging her to get even less sleep is going to go over well. Just tell yourself that.

5. Vacuum Bug Catcher

these things are amazing. They can suck bugs out of little crevices, spiders out of ceiling nooks, and get that fly off the window that’s been driving you nuts. And for the compassionate among us, these bugs can be released back into the wild – no harm done. No squishy Kleenexes. But really? For Mother’s Day?!?

6. Wrinkle Cream

just. don’t.

Happy Shopping. 🙂